Friday, October 22, 2010

For All The Ill That Is In Us Comes From Fear

This morning I found that one of my friends had posted a status update on facebook in support of a cause and, to show support of said cause, this status update requested, that I, in turn, should paste same in my status. Otherwise, it was stated,  I would belong to the 93% who would not paste this to their respective profiles, implying that the non-posters are at best non-supportive or worse flat out against the cause.
Now, this is not the first time that a friend posts a status update like this. It is always the same: a cause, a request to paste something as your status and a veiled threat: or else...meaning if you do not paste this, you belong to a group of beings of lesser humanity, strangely enough, always to the same 93% group. It must be a magical number, 93% lesser beings. I wonder sometimes who thinks up these things. It frequently happens that I get this same request from several friends, all lovely people who mean well and who I know are serious in their support for the cause they champion, be it animal rights, humanitarian causes, gay rights, children with horrible illnesses, violence against women: you name it, it's there as a status update.
Yet, I refuse to adopt these updates.
Does this make me a lesser person? Does it mean I am unfeeling or heartless?
I think not, even though some may believe that my continued refusal to post indicates just that, a cold heart or worse, cold feet, in not revealing whether I am for or against the cause en vogue.
However, I beg to differ.
I am of the school that actions speak louder than words. They always have, they always will.
My facebook page shows that I have not clicked for breast cancer, I have not supported gay rights by posting it to my status. I have not worn purple, pink or yellow, even though, I admit that in a moment of weakness I posted a pink ribbon to my facebook profile. It was in support for the Susan G. Komen foundation who  has tirelessly fought to eradicate breast cancer. I know them well, having run their races and having supported their cause for many years. Also, in the interest of full disclosure, I am a survivor myself.

However, aside from the pink ribbon, I will not post their updates in my status either.

Bear with me here and allow me to illustrate. These days, my first husband  lives with his partner. When he told me about himself and I then told my parents I was wondering how they would react to the news. They had always taught us girls that all men are equal but they also had always been fairly conservative in their views. Guess what? It did not make any difference to them whatsoever. They knew already who he was. A good husband, a wonderful father, intelligent, giving, simply put, a good person. Now, why should his "coming out" have changed anything? Sadly enough, for lots of people, it would have. This is something that is hard for me to understand. Because, again, actions speak louder than words.

And thus,  in my book, the way to change the world begins with small steps. It begins when in your daily dealings with the world you, all by yourself, do the things necessary, to make the world a better place. Help your family, your friends, your neighbors. Volunteer at an animal shelter. If you are able, donate: time, money, blood, organs. Recycle. Listen. Reach out. Approach the world in loving ways. See the good in people, always, even though sometimes this is the most difficult thing to do. Most important of all, do not judge.
You'll be surprised how far you get in life.

So, I won't post these status updates. What I will do though, is, to live a good life and share the talents I have to make the world a better place. I will have days when I succeed and I will have days when I fail, and believe me, we all have them, the good days and the bad. One may have noticed, that I did not say: I will try...Because, and I believe this to be important, trying implies failure. As my coach once said: Don't try! Do it!

And this is what counts in the end: that you never stop doing.

For all the ill that is in us comes from fear, and all the good from love.

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